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Beauty and the Horstachio part 9 - Shan Yu ("Gaston")
Shan Yu/Gaston: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says 'no' to Shan Yu! *Mushu/Lefou: Darn right! *Shan Yu/Gaston: Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated. Why, it's more than I can bear. *Mushu/Lefou: More beer? *Shan Yu/Gaston: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. *Mushu/Lefou: Who, you? Never. Shan Yu, you've got to pull yourself together. (singing) Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Shan Yu, Looking so down in the dumps, Every guy here'd love to be you, Shan Yu (cheering) Even when taking your lumps, There's no man in town as admired as you, You're everyone's favorite guy, Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why! No one's slick as Shan Yu, no one's quick as Shan Yu, No one's next as incredibly thick as Shan Yu, For there's no man in town half as manly, Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on! *Human Villains/Old Cronies (singing): No one's been like Shan Yu, a king-pin like Shan Yu! *Mushu/Lefou (singing): No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Shan Yu! *Shan Yu/Gaston (singing): As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! *Human Villains/Old Cronies (singing): My, what a guy that Gaston! *Shan Yu/Gaston's chin, who stands with pride) Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips *Mushu/Lefou (singing): Shan Yu is the best and the rest is all drips! *All (singing): No one fights like Gaston, no one bites like Gaston *Sir Kay/Wrestler (singing): In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston *The Powerpuff Girls/Bimbettes (singing): For there's no one as burly and brawny *Shan Yu/Gaston (singing): As you see I've got biceps to spare *Mushu/Lefou (singing): Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny *Shan Yu/Gaston: That's right! (singing) And every last bit of me's covered with hair! *Human Villains/Old Cronies (singing): No one hits like Shan Yu, matches wits like Shan Yu! *Mushu/Lefou (singing): In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston! *Shan Yu/Gaston: I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey! *All (singing): Ten points for Shan Yu! *Shan Yu/Gaston (singing): When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs, Every morning to help me get large! And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge! *All (singing): No one shoots like Shan Yu, makes those beauts like Shan Yu! *Mushu/Lefou (singing): Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Shan Yu! *Shan Yu/Gaston (singing): I use antlers in all of my decorating! *All (singing): My what a guy! Shan Yu! *Winston/Maurice: Help! Someone help me! *Uncle Grandpa/Old Man: Winston? *Winston/Maurice: Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon. *Mushu/Lefou: Who? *Winston/Maurice: Angelica. We must go. Not a minute to lose! *Shan Yu/Gaston: Whoa! Slow down, Winston. Who's got Angelica locked in a dungeon? *Winston/Maurice: A horstachio! A horrible, monstrous horstachio! *Lickboot/Crony 1: Is it a big horstachio? *Winston/Maurice: Huge! *Rapustin/Crony 2: With a long, ugly snout? *Winston/Maurice: Hideously ugly! *Prince Charming/Crony 3: And sharp, cruel fangs? *Winston/Maurice: Yes, yes. Will you help me? *Shan Yu/Gaston: All right, old man. We'll help you out. *Winston/Maurice: You will? Oh thank you, thank you! *Lickboot/Crony 1: Crazy old Winston. He's always good for a laugh! *Shan Yu/Gaston: Crazy old Winston, hmm? Crazy old Winston. Hmmm? (singing) Mushu, I'm afraid I've been thinking. *(Mushu/Lefou is still under the chair.) *Mushu/Lefou (singing): A dangerous pastime-- *Shan Yu/Gaston: (finishing line) I know, (singing) But that wacky old coot is Angelica's father, And his sanity's only so-so, Now the wheels in my head have been turning, Since I looked at that loony old man, See I promised myself I'd be married to Angelica, And right now I'm evolving a plan! *(Shan Yu/Gaston picks Mushu/Lefou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers) *Shan Yu/Gaston: If I... (whispering) *Mushu/Lefou: Yes? *Shan Yu/Gaston: Then I... (whispers) *Mushu/Lefou: No, would she? *Shan Yu/Gaston: (whispering)...GUESS! *Mushu/Lefou: Now I get it! *Both: Let's go! *Both (singing): No one plots like Shan Yu!, takes cheap shots like Shan Yu! *Mushu/Lefou (singing): Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Shan Yu! *All (singing): So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating! My what a guy, Shan Yu! *Winston/Maurice: Will no one help me? Category:Disney and Sega's Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:Parts Category:Beauty and the Beast Parts